From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)
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to display the full page from the Big Book1.
... family.
12&12 p.84,
Step Nine
2.
... family.
12&12 p.170,
Tradition Eight
3.
... family.
12&12 p.177,
Tradition Ten
Maybe this sounds as though the alcoholics in
A.A. had suddenly gone peaceable, and become one great big happy family.
4.
... family.
BB p.35,
More About Alcoholism
5.
... family.
BB p.79,
Into Action
We thought he ought to be
willing to do that if necessary, but if he were in jail he could provide nothing for either family.
6.
... family.
BB p.91,
Working With Others
7.
... family.
BB p.91,
Working With Others
8.
... family.
BB p.97,
Working With Others
9.
... family.
BB p.97,
Working With Others
10.
... family?
BB p.128,
The Family Afterward
If he means to right his past wrongs, why all this concern for everyone in the world but
his family?
11.
... family.
BB p.161,
A Vision For You
He and his wife would leave
elated by the thought of
what they could now do for some stricken acquaintance
and his family.
12.
... family also.
BB p.90,
Working With Others
13.
... family (and
everyone else) for our troubles.
12&12 p.84,
Step Nine
This will be a very different occasion, and
in sharp contrast with those hangover mornings when we alternated between reviling ourselves and
blaming the family (and everyone else) for our troubles.
14.
... family and
frankly analyze the past as ...
BB p.83,
Into Action
We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them.
15.
... family and
frequently it is almost the ...
BB p.124,
The Family Afterward
The alcoholic's past thus becomes the principal asset of the
family and frequently it
is almost the only one!
16.
... family and
friends.
12&12 p.43,
Step Four
Going to the extreme, he
can become a miser, or even a recluse who denies himself both family and friends.
17.
... family, and
friends will need to cross-examine ...
12&12 p.52,
Step Four
But all alcoholics who have drunk themselves out of jobs, family, and friends will need to cross-examine themselves ruthlessly
to determine how their own
personality defects
have thus demolished
their security.
18.
... family, and
has thoroughly explained to them ...
BB p.98,
Working With Others
When your prospect has made such reparation as he can to his family, and has thoroughly explained to them the new principles by which he is living, he should proceed to
put those principles into action at
home.
19.
... family and
himself, and then pulls the ...
BB p.21,
There Is A Solution
He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees.
20.
... family and
home?
12&12 p.86,
Step Nine
Are we going to be so rigidly righteous about
making amends that we
don't care what happens to
the family and home?
21.
... family and
neglect the others.
12&12 p.81,
Step Eight
22.
... family and
position, to say nothing of ...
BB p.36,
More About Alcoholism
Here was the threat of commitment, the loss of
family and position, to say nothing of that intense mental and physical suffering which
drinking always caused him.
23.
... family and
readily admit the damage we ...
12&12 p.84,
Step Nine
After coming from our first meeting, or perhaps after we have finished reading the book "Alcoholics Anonymous," we usually want to sit down with some member of the
family and readily admit the damage we have done by our drinking.
24.
... family and
separated him from them?
12&12 p.39,
Step Three
And how shall he ever straighten out that awful jam that cost him the affection of
his family and separated
him from them?
25.
... family and
take away his means of ...
BB p.80,
Into Action
If he opened that old affair, he was afraid it
would destroy the reputation of his partner, disgrace his
family and take away his means of livelihood.
26.
... family, and
that he is not trying ...
BB p.96,
Working With Others
Be certain he will be welcomed by your family, and
that he is not trying to impose upon you for money, connections, or shelter.
27.
... family and
the men who would die ...
BB p.154,
A Vision For You
But what about his responsibilities --
his family and the men who
would die because they would
not know how to get well, ah -- yes, those other alcoholics?
28.
... family are
mistaken, though each side may ...
BB p.126,
The Family Afterward
29.
... family as
he should, he may retreat ...
BB p.129,
The Family Afterward
Instead of treating the
family as he should, he may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiritual justification for so doing.
30.
... family, asking
each morning in meditation that ...
BB p.83,
Into Action
So we clean house with the
family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness
and love.
31.
... family's attitude
towards himself or herself.
BB p.122,
The Family Afterward
The alcoholic, his wife,
his children, his "in-laws", each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the family's attitude towards himself or herself.
32.
... family back.
BB p.99,
Working With Others
33.
... family be
at fault in many respects, ...
BB p.98,
Working With Others
34.
... family begins
to see his shortcomings and ...
BB p.127,
The Family Afterward
As each member of a resentful family begins to see his shortcomings and admits
them to the others, he lays
a basis for helpful discussion.
35.
... family, but
we cannot disclose anything to ...
BB p.74,
Into Action
It may be one of our own family, but we cannot disclose
anything to our wives or
our parents which will hurt them and make them unhappy.
36.
... family by
foolishly admitting his plight to ...
BB p.155,
A Vision For You
Why, he argued, should he lose the remainder of his business, only to bring still more suffering to his family by
foolishly admitting
his plight to people from
whom he made his livelihood?
37.
... family came
back too soon.
BB p.100,
Working With Others
38.
... family can
be a bright spot in ...
BB p.132,
The Family Afterward
39.
... family condemn
and criticize.
BB p.129,
The Family Afterward
40.
Family confidence
in dad is rising high.
BB p.123,
The Family Afterward
41.
... family cooperates,
dad will soon see that ...
BB p.129,
The Family Afterward
42.
... family demands
that the others concede to ...
BB p.122,
The Family Afterward
We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the
more resentful they become.
43.
... family differences,
explaining the disinherited son to ...
BB p.161,
A Vision For You
Cleaning up old scrapes, helping to settle family differences, explaining the disinherited son to his irate parents, lending money and securing jobs for each other, when justified -- these are everyday occurrences.
44.
... family dissensions
are very dangerous, especially to ...
BB p.117,
To Wives
45.
... family does
not fully agree with dad's ...
BB p.129,
The Family Afterward
Though the family does not
fully agree with dad's spiritual activities, they should let
him have his head.
46.
... family, either
by a rule of iron ...
12&12 p.81,
Step Eight
What happens when we try to
dominate the whole family, either by a rule of iron or by a constant outpouring of
minute directions for
just how their lives should
be lived from hour to hour?
47.
... family embittered
and depressed him.
BB p.56,
We Agnostics
Business failure, insanity, fatal illness, suicide -- these
calamities in his immediate family embittered and depressed him.
48.
... family expresses
a desire to live upon ...
BB p.83,
Into Action
Unless one's family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles we think we ought not to urge them.
49.
... family financially
insecure.
12&12 p.51,
Step Four
50.
... family find
God in a hurry, or ...
BB p.128,
The Family Afterward
He may demand that the family find God in a hurry, or exhibit amazing indifference to them and say he is above worldly considerations.
51.
... family for
whom he had a deep ...
BB p.35,
More About Alcoholism
52.
... family, friends,
and society at large that ...
12&12 p.53,
Step Four
But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most.
53.
... family, friends,
business, or community we attract ...
12&12 p.124,
Step Twelve
When by devoted service
to family, friends, business, or community
we attract widespread
affection and are sometimes singled out for posts of greater responsibility and trust, we try to be humbly grateful and exert ourselves the more in a spirit of love and service.
54.
... family, friends,
doctors, and clergymen got no ...
12&12 p.63,
Step Six
Change of scene, the best efforts of family, friends, doctors, and clergymen got no place
with my alcoholism.
55.
... family goes
on a spiritual basis or ...
BB p.135,
The Family Afterward
Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic
member has to if he would recover.
56.
... family group
and will, if you wish, ...
BB p.573(575),
Appendix VI, How to Get in Touch With A.A.
This headquarters will
give the location of the
nearest family group and will, if you wish, correspond with you
about your special problems.
57.
... Family Groups.
12&12 p.118,
Step Twelve (Note)
58.
... Family Groups
by writing to its World ...
BB p.121,
To Wives (Note)
If there is no Al-Anon/Alateen listing in
your local telephone book, you may obtain further information on
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Groups by writing to its World Service Office, 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617.
59.
... Family Groups,
composed largely of the wives, ...
BB p.573(575),
Appendix VI, How to Get in Touch With A.A.
This is a world clearing
house for the Al-Anon Family Groups, composed largely of the wives, husbands and friends of A.A. members.
60.
... Family Groups,
Inc., 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, ...
BB p.573(575),
Appendix VI, How to Get in Touch With A.A.
Should you be the relative or friend of an alcoholic who
shows no immediate interest in A.A., it is suggested that you
write the Al-Anon Family Groups, Inc., 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, Virginia Beach, VA 23456, USA.
61.
... Family Groups
was formed about thirteen years ...
BB p.121,
To Wives (Note)
(*) The fellowship of Al-Anon Family Groups was formed about thirteen years after this chapter was written.
62.
... family had
been reunited; he extolled the ...
12&12 p.143,
Tradition Three
He paid a fine tribute to the Fellowship; he told how his
family had been reunited;
he extolled the virtue
of honesty; he recalled
the joys of Twelfth Step work; and then he lowered the boom.
63.
... family has
no religious connections, they may ...
BB p.131,
The Family Afterward
Though the family has no religious connections, they may wish
to make contact with or take membership in a religious body.
64.
... family has
spiritual convictions or not, they ...
BB p.130,
The Family Afterward
One more suggestion: Whether the
family has spiritual convictions or not, they may do well to examine the principles by which the alcoholic member is trying to live.
65.
... family how
that was accomplished.
BB p.100,
Working With Others
If you have been successful in solving your own domestic problems, tell the newcomer's family how that was accomplished.
66.
... family hysterically
plead with him to do ...
BB p.90,
Working With Others
Neither should the family
hysterically plead
with him to do anything, nor should they tell him much about you.
67.
... family, in
the light of their own ...
BB p.103,
Working With Others
68.
... family into
a spiritual way of living, ...
BB p.159,
A Vision For You
They experienced a few
distressing failures, but in those cases they made an effort to bring the man's family into a spiritual way of living, thus relieving much worry and suffering.
69.
... family is
going to play an effective ...
BB p.131,
The Family Afterward
At the very beginning,
the couple ought to frankly face the fact that each will have to yield here and there if the family is
going to play an effective part in the new life.
70.
... family is
mystified.
BB p.126,
The Family Afterward
The family is mystified.
71.
... family is
reunited, alcohol is no longer ...
BB p.119,
To Wives
After all, your family is reunited, alcohol is no longer a problem and you and your husband are working together toward an undreamed-of future.
72.
... family is
sure to be great.
BB p.99,
Working With Others
73.
... family is,
to some extent, ill."
BB p.122,
The Family Afterward
74.
... family, it
is well to let him ...
BB p.129,
The Family Afterward
Even if he displays a certain amount of neglect and irresponsibility towards the family, it is well to let him go as far as he likes in helping other alcoholics.
75.
... family, leave
them out of the first ...
BB p.91,
Working With Others
76.
... family life.
12&12 p.44,
Step Four
77.
... family life?
12&12 p.120,
Step Twelve
78.
... family life
brought about by years of ...
12&12 p.117,
Step Twelve
To a surprising extent, A.A. has offset the damage to family life brought about by years of alcoholism.
79.
... family life
rather than give?
BB p.122,
The Family Afterward
80.
... family lives
that we bring to our ...
12&12 p.112,
Step Twelve
Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A. group?
81.
... family lives
we happen to be miserly, ...
12&12 p.81,
Step Eight
82.
... family may
be possessed by the idea ...
BB p.123,
The Family Afterward
The family may be possessed by the idea that
future happiness can be
based only upon forgetfulness of the past.
83.
... family may
be unhappy.
BB p.123,
The Family Afterward
Today's life is measured against that of
other years and, when it falls short, the family may be unhappy.
84.
... family may
feel they hold a mortgage ...
BB p.131,
The Family Afterward
The family may feel they hold a mortgage on dad, so big that no equity should be left for outsiders.
85.
... family may
look at their strange new ...
BB p.128,
The Family Afterward
As soon as his sobriety begins to be taken as a matter of course, the family may look at their strange new dad with apprehension,
then with irritation.
86.
... family may
object to this, but unless ...
BB p.90,
Working With Others
The family may object to
this, but unless he is in a dangerous physical condition, it is better to
risk it.
87.
... family may
react unfavorably.
BB p.128,
The Family Afterward
88.
... family may
see their own defects and ...
BB p.99,
Working With Others
89.
... family men
and women.
12&12 p.120,
Step Twelve
Free of marital responsibilities, they can participate in enterprises which would be denied to family men and women.
90.
... family must
decide these things.
BB p.90,
Working With Others
91.
... family must
realize that dad, though marvelously ...
BB p.127,
The Family Afterward
92.
... family needs
your help.
BB p.90,
Working With Others
93.
... family obligations
may not be so perfect ...
BB p.129,
The Family Afterward
He will perceive that his
spiritual growth is lopsided, that for an average man like himself, a spiritual life which does
not include his family obligations may not be so perfect after all.
94.
... family of
an alcoholic longs for the ...
BB p.123,
The Family Afterward
95.
... family or
a friend ask him if ...
BB p.90,
Working With Others
Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so.
96.
... family or
creditors of money they should ...
BB p.96,
Working With Others
97.
... family persists
in criticism, this fallacy may ...
BB p.129,
The Family Afterward
98.
... family play
together or separately, as much ...
BB p.133,
The Family Afterward
99.
... family present
the book.
BB p.113,
To Wives
100.
... family problems
will arise.
BB p.126,
The Family Afterward
101.
... family properly?
12&12 p.51,
Step Four
102.
... family satisfactions
-- all these have to be ...
12&12 p.114,
Step Twelve
Our desires for emotional security and
wealth, for personal prestige and power, for romance, and for family satisfactions -- all these have to be tempered and redirected.
103.
... family should
be offered your way of ...
BB p.97,
Working With Others
104.
... family should
meet upon the common ground ...
BB p.122,
The Family Afterward
105.
... family should
not try to tell your ...
BB p.91,
Working With Others
106.
... family should
watch such matters carefully, for ...
BB p.125,
The Family Afterward
Members of a family should
watch such matters carefully, for one careless, inconsiderate remark
has been known to raise the
very devil.
107.
... family show
to his liking?
BB p.122,
The Family Afterward
108.
... family talks
will be constructive if they ...
BB p.127,
The Family Afterward
These family talks will be constructive if
they can be carried on without heated argument, self-pity, self-justification or resentful criticism.
109.
... family that
he has been a very ...
BB p.100,
Working With Others
110.
... family, these
vagaries of dad's spiritual infancy ...
BB p.129,
The Family Afterward
In the midst of an understanding and sympathetic family, these
vagaries of dad's spiritual infancy will quickly disappear.
111.
... family, to
be a friend among friends, ...
12&12 p.53,
Step Four
We have not once sought to
be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society.
112.
... family to
know immediately what he was ...
12&12 p.185,
Tradition Twelve
113.
... family trousers.
BB p.131,
The Family Afterward
114.
... family was
re-assembled, and he began to ...
BB p.35,
More About Alcoholism
His family was re-assembled, and he began to
work as a salesman for the
business he had lost through drinking.
115.
... family watches
for these tendencies in each ...
BB p.131,
The Family Afterward
This means trouble, unless the family watches for these tendencies in each other and comes to a friendly agreement about
them.
116.
... family, went
to bed.
12&12 p.144,
Tradition Three
About two weeks later, Ed stole by night into an A.A. member's house and, unknown to the
family, went to bed.
117.
... family which
has been relieved owes something ...
BB p.124,
The Family Afterward
We think each family which has been relieved
owes something to those who have not, and when the occasion requires, each member of it should be
only too willing to bring
former mistakes, no matter how grievous, out of their hiding places.
118.
... family will
admire him for what he ...
BB p.123,
The Family Afterward
But the wise family will admire him for what he is
trying to be, rather than
for what he is trying to get.
119.
... family will
appreciate that dad's current behavior ...
BB p.129,
The Family Afterward
If the family will appreciate that dad's current behavior is but a
phase of his development, all will be
well.
120.
... family will
be affected also, pleasantly at ...
BB p.126,
The Family Afterward
The family will be affected also, pleasantly at first, as
they feel their money troubles are about to be solved, then not so pleasantly as they find themselves neglected.
121.
... family will
be plagued by spectres from ...
BB p.123,
The Family Afterward
Now and then the family will be plagued by spectres from the past, for
the drinking career of
almost every alcoholic has been marked
by escapades, funny, humiliating, shameful
or tragic.
122.
... family will
find life more bearable.
BB p.97,
Working With Others
123.
... family will
meet; suppose we suggest how ...
BB p.123,
The Family Afterward
Suppose we tell you some of
the obstacles a family will meet; suppose we suggest how they
may be avoided -- even converted to good use for others.
124.
... family will
perhaps want to go along.
BB p.99,
Working With Others
125.
... family will
recover.
BB p.97,
Working With Others
Should they accept and practice spiritual principles, there is a much
better chance that the head of the family will recover.
126.
... family would
like him to be.
BB p.126,
The Family Afterward
If not irritable, he may seem dull and boring, not gay and affectionate as the family would like him to be.
127.
... family, you
should take care not to ...
BB p.100,
Working With Others
Passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous
and the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
are reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.
The A.A. Preamble, copyright ©
The A.A. Grapevine, Inc., is reprinted with permission.
Permission to reprint does not in any way imply affiliation with or
endorsement by either Alcoholics Anonymous or The A.A. Grapevine, Inc.
Copyright © 2005-2012, Recovery Press LLC; All Rights Reserved.