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From the books  ...  Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)


Click a book cover icon    to view the Big Book or 12&12 chapter, or Grapevine text


1.
View INTO ACTION chapter   ... husband.   BB Into Action, p.81  
It is as good for the wife as for the husband.


2.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband.   BB To Wives, p.108  
These are some of the questions which race through the mind of every woman who has an alcoholic husband.


3.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband.   BB To Wives, p.111  
Do not set your heart on reforming your husband.


4.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband.   BB To Wives, p.115  
But you must be on guard not to embarrass or harm your husband.


5.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband.   BB To Wives, p.117  
These family dissensions are very dangerous, especially to your husband.


6.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband.   BB To Wives, p.119  
Therefore, you probably need fresh interests and a great cause to live for as much as your husband.


7.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband.   BB To Wives (Note), p.104  
(*) Written in 1939, when there were few women in A.A., this chapter assumes that the alcoholic in the home is likely to be the husband.


8.
View STEP NINE essay   ... husband.   12&12 Step Nine, p.86  
We cannot, for example, unload a detailed account of extramarital adventuring upon the shoulders of our unsuspecting wife or husband.


9.
View A VISION FOR YOU chapter   ... husband already.   BB A Vision For You, p.158  
His wife came, scarcely daring to be hopeful, though she thought she saw something different about her husband already.


10.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband are working together toward an undreamed-of ...   BB To Wives, p.119  
After all, your family is reunited, alcohol is no longer a problem and you and your husband are working together toward an undreamed-of future.


11.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband as the radically changed attitude toward ...   BB To Wives, p.117  
We urge you to try our program, for nothing will be so helpful to your husband as the radically changed attitude toward him which God will show you how to have.


12.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband at length, you can quietly let ...   BB To Wives, p.115  
While you need not discuss your husband at length, you can quietly let your friends know the nature of his illness.


13.
View STEP TWELVE essay   ... husband becomes a sick and irresponsible child ...   12&12 Step Twelve, p.118  
As matters get worse, the husband becomes a sick and irresponsible child who needs to be looked after and extricated from endless scrapes and impasses.


14.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband becomes unbearable and you have to ...   BB To Wives, p.111  
Even though your husband becomes unbearable and you have to leave him temporarily, you should, if you can, go without rancor.


15.
View INTO ACTION chapter   ... husband begins to feel lonely, sorry for ...   BB Into Action, p.81  
The husband begins to feel lonely, sorry for himself.


16.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband can get right down to fundamentals.   BB To Wives, p.120  
Then you and your husband can get right down to fundamentals.


17.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband's chance of recovery.   BB To Wives, p.120  
The slightest sign of fear or intolerance may lessen your husband's chance of recovery.


18.
View TO EMPLOYERS chapter   ... husband's company insurance was still in force.   BB To Employers, p.137  
She wanted to know if her husband's company insurance was still in force.


19.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband continues to drink.   BB To Wives, p.111  
It is possible to have a full and useful life, though your husband continues to drink.


20.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband's drinking is not going to spoil ...   BB To Wives, p.111  
Be determined that your husband's drinking is not going to spoil your relations with your children or your friends.


21.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband's employer and his friends that he ...   BB To Wives, p.115  
Frequently, you have felt obliged to tell your husband's employer and his friends that he was sick, when as a matter of fact he was tight.


22.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband explain.   BB To Wives, p.115  
Whenever possible, let your husband explain.


23.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband find a solution for the pressing ...   BB To Wives, p.117  
If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to be very happy.


24.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband fits the description of number two.   BB To Wives, p.112  
Suppose, however, that your husband fits the description of number two.


25.
View HOW IT WORKS chapter   ... husband for drinking; he's my friend; she's ...   BB How It Works, p.65  
Mrs. Jones -- she's a nut, she snubbed me; she committed her husband for drinking; he's my friend; she's a gossip -- personal relationship; self esteem (fear).


26.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband has been living in that strange ...   BB To Wives, p.108  
Perhaps your husband has been living in that strange world of alcoholism where everything is distorted and exaggerated.


27.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband has gone much further than husband ...   BB To Wives, p.109  
Three: This husband has gone much further than husband number two.


28.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband have been living too much alone, ...   BB To Wives, p.119  
It is probably true that you and your husband have been living too much alone, for drinking many times isolates the wife of an alcoholic.


29.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband he wants to stop drinking forever.   BB To Wives, p.116  
It may convince your husband he wants to stop drinking forever.


30.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband if you possibly can.   BB To Wives, p.117  
Go along with your husband if you possibly can.


31.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband's interest, it may be best to ...   BB To Wives, p.112  
If this kind of approach does not catch your husband's interest, it may be best to drop the subject, but after a friendly talk your husband will usually revive the topic himself.


32.
View STEP FOUR essay   ... husband into debt by irresponsibility, waste, and ...   12&12 Step Four, p.51  
She can juggle charge accounts, manipulate the food budget, spend her afternoons gambling, and run her husband into debt by irresponsibility, waste, and extravagance.


33.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband is a drinker, you probably worry ...   BB To Wives, p.114  
If your husband is a drinker, you probably worry over what other people are thinking and you hate to meet your friends.


34.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband is bad, you become a trembling ...   BB To Wives, p.115  
When your husband is bad, you become a trembling recluse, wishing the telephone had never been invented.


35.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband is otherwise a normal individual, your ...   BB To Wives, p.113  
If your husband is otherwise a normal individual, your chances are good at this stage.


36.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband is showing lack of control, for ...   BB To Wives, p.109  
Two: Your husband is showing lack of control, for he is unable to stay on the water wagon even when he wants to.


37.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband is trying to live on a ...   BB To Wives, p.118  
If your husband is trying to live on a spiritual basis, he will also be doing everything in his power to avoid disagreement or contention.


38.
View STEP TWELVE essay   ... husband joins A.A., the wife may become ...   12&12 Step Twelve, p.118  
After the husband joins A.A., the wife may become discontented, even highly resentful that Alcoholics Anonymous has done the very thing that all her years of devotion had failed to do.


39.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband knows he owes you more than ...   BB To Wives, p.118  
Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety.


40.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband's liquor problem or He has not.   BB To Wives, p.120  
God has either removed your husband's liquor problem or He has not.


41.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband may be only a heavy drinker.   BB To Wives, p.108  
One: Your husband may be only a heavy drinker.


42.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband may be willing to talk to ...   BB To Wives, p.112  
Your husband may be willing to talk to one of them.


43.
View STEP TWELVE essay   ... husband may become so wrapped up in ...   12&12 Step Twelve, p.118  
Her husband may become so wrapped up in A.A. and his new friends that he is inconsiderately away from home more than when he drank.


44.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband may come to appreciate your reasonableness ...   BB To Wives, p.111  
Your husband may come to appreciate your reasonableness and patience.


45.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband may stop or moderate.   BB To Wives, p.112  
If you act upon these principles, your husband may stop or moderate.


46.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband no matter what he says or ...   BB To Wives, p.108  
Try not to condemn your alcoholic husband no matter what he says or does.


47.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband number one.   BB To Wives, p.110  
Let's now go back to husband number one.


48.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband number one should be practiced.   BB To Wives, p.112  
The same principles which apply to husband number one should be practiced.


49.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband number two.   BB To Wives, p.109  
Three: This husband has gone much further than husband number two.


50.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband of whom you completely despair.   BB To Wives, p.110  
Four: You may have a husband of whom you completely despair.


51.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband, ought to think of what you ...   BB To Wives, p.120  
You, as well as your husband, ought to think of what you can put into life instead of how much you can take out.


52.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband's parents for desertion.   BB To Wives, p.106  
Then we were severely criticized by our husband's parents for desertion.


53.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband read this book.   BB To Wives, p.114  
In any event, try to have your husband read this book.


54.
View WORKING WITH OTHERS chapter   ... husband to distant places on the theory ...   BB Working With Others, p.101  
Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.


55.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband were a weak character.   BB To Wives, p.115  
You will no longer be self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as though your husband were a weak character.


56.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband whenever there is an honest difference ...   BB To Wives, p.117  
We do not mean that you have to agree with your husband whenever there is an honest difference of opinion.


57.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband who is at large, but who ...   BB To Wives, p.114  
Perhaps you have a husband who is at large, but who should be committed.


58.
View THE FAMILY AFTERWARD chapter   ... husband who is recovering.   BB The Family Afterward, p.122  
Our women folk have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering.


59.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband will be put to the test.   BB To Wives, p.117  
The faith and sincerity of both you and your husband will be put to the test.


60.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband will be the first to say ...   BB To Wives, p.118  
Your husband will be the first to say it was your devotion and care which brought him to the point where he could have a spiritual experience.


61.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband will find that you can dispose ...   BB To Wives, p.118  
You and your husband will find that you can dispose of serious problems easier than you can the trivial ones.


62.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband will lose his position; you are ...   BB To Wives, p.116  
You may be afraid your husband will lose his position; you are thinking of the disgrace and hard times which will befall you and the children.


63.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband will make a fair start on ...   BB To Wives, p.120  
Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk.


64.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband will see at once that he ...   BB To Wives, p.120  
Your husband will see at once that he must redouble his spiritual activities if he expects to survive.


65.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband will sometimes be unreasonable and you ...   BB To Wives, p.117  
Your husband will sometimes be unreasonable and you will want to criticize.


66.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband will usually revive the topic himself.   BB To Wives, p.112  
If this kind of approach does not catch your husband's interest, it may be best to drop the subject, but after a friendly talk your husband will usually revive the topic himself.


67.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... husband, you may be in luck.   BB To Wives, p.113  
If you have a number three husband, you may be in luck.


The 164 and More™ Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only).  Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and More concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc., or the A.A. Grapevine, Inc.  Further A.A.W.S. Inc. and the A.A. Grapevine Inc. have no objection to the use of this material in the 164 and More concordance.

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