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From the books  ...  Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)


Click a book cover icon    to view the Big Book or 12&12 chapter, or Grapevine text


1.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife.   BB Bill's Story, p.2  
Though my drinking was not yet continuous, it disturbed my wife.


2.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife.   BB Bill's Story, p.8  
I thought of my poor wife.


3.
View MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM chapter   ... wife.   BB More About Alcoholism, p.41  
I have a shadowy recollection of being in an airplane bound for New York, and of finding a friendly taxicab driver at the landing field instead of my wife.


4.
View HOW IT WORKS chapter   ... wife.   BB How It Works, p.67  
Notice that the word "fear" is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr. Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife.


5.
View INTO ACTION chapter   ... wife.   BB Into Action, p.79  
Because of resentment and drinking, he had not paid alimony to his first wife.


6.
View WORKING WITH OTHERS chapter   ... wife.   BB Working With Others, p.90  
If there is any indication that he wants to stop, have a good talk with the person most interested in him -- usually his wife.


7.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife.   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.177  
So I filled the cellar full, with the permission of my good wife.


8.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife a promise that we would not ...   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.179  
Wishing to be polite, though I felt very badly, I said, "Let's make the call," and extracted from my wife a promise that we would not stay over fifteen minutes.


9.
View INTO ACTION chapter   ... wife admitting his faults and asking forgiveness.   BB Into Action, p.79  
We suggested he write his first wife admitting his faults and asking forgiveness.


10.
View MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM chapter   ... wife and family.   BB More About Alcoholism, p.35  
This man has a charming wife and family.


11.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife and father-in-law became ill.   BB Bill's Story, p.5  
The house was taken over by the mortgage holder, my mother-in-law died, my wife and father-in-law became ill.


12.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm ...   BB Bill's Story, p.15  
My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution of their problems.


13.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife and I decided to go anyway.   BB Bill's Story, p.2  
I failed to persuade my broker friends to send me out looking over factories and managements, but my wife and I decided to go anyway.


14.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife and I saved $1,000.   BB Bill's Story, p.2  
Living modestly, my wife and I saved $1,000.


15.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife and I sought escape.   BB Bill's Story, p.6  
There were flights from city to country and back, as my wife and I sought escape.


16.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife and I went to see Wallace ...   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.177  
This worked nicely until my wife and I went to see Wallace Beery in "Tugboat Annie," after which the pant-leg and stocking racket were out!


17.
View INTO ACTION chapter   ... wife and partner he came to the ...   BB Into Action, p.80  
After consulting with his wife and partner he came to the conclusion that it was better to take those risks than to stand before his Creator guilty of such ruinous slander.


18.
View INTO ACTION chapter   ... wife as for the husband.   BB Into Action, p.81  
It is as good for the wife as for the husband.


19.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife became deeply interested, and it was ...   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.178  
My wife became deeply interested, and it was her interest that sustained mine, though I at no time sensed that it might be an answer to my liquor problem.


20.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife began to work in a department ...   BB Bill's Story, p.4  
My wife began to work in a department store, coming home exhausted to find me drunk.


21.
View HOW IT WORKS chapter   ... wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser.   BB How It Works, p.63  
We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser.


22.
View A VISION FOR YOU chapter   ... wife came, scarcely daring to be hopeful, ...   BB A Vision For You, p.158  
His wife came, scarcely daring to be hopeful, though she thought she saw something different about her husband already.


23.
View THE FAMILY AFTERWARD chapter   ... wife commenced to admonish him about it.   BB The Family Afterward, p.135  
Seeing this, and meaning to be helpful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it.


24.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife dared not invite people in for ...   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.177  
We could not be invited out because I would surely get tight, and my wife dared not invite people in for the same reason.


25.
View INTO ACTION chapter   ... wife does not know, should we tell ...   BB Into Action, p.81  
If we are sure our wife does not know, should we tell her?


26.
View MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM chapter   ... wife gets a divorce and he is ...   BB More About Alcoholism, p.38  
Finally, he can no longer work, his wife gets a divorce and he is held up to ridicule.


27.
View INTO ACTION chapter   ... wife gets worn out, resentful and uncommunicative.   BB Into Action, p.81  
After a few years with an alcoholic, a wife gets worn out, resentful and uncommunicative.


28.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife happily observed that this time I ...   BB Bill's Story, p.5  
Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but my wife happily observed that this time I meant business.


29.
View STEP TWELVE essay   ... wife has endured, and now fully understanding ...   12&12 Step Twelve, p.119  
The alcoholic, realizing what his wife has endured, and now fully understanding how much he himself did to damage her and his children, nearly always takes up his marriage responsibilities with a willingness to repair what he can and to accept what he can't.


30.
View A VISION FOR YOU chapter   ... wife has visited this house to find ...   BB A Vision For You, p.160  
Many a distracted wife has visited this house to find loving and understanding companionship among women who knew her problem, to hear from the lips of their husbands what had happened to them, to be advised how her own wayward mate might be hospitalized and approached when next he stumbled.


31.
View THE FAMILY AFTERWARD chapter   ... wife have had love affairs.   BB The Family Afterward, p.124  
For example, we know of situations in which the alcoholic or his wife have had love affairs.


32.
View INTO ACTION chapter   ... wife, he remarked, "Don't see anything the ...   BB Into Action, p.82  
To his wife, he remarked, "Don't see anything the matter here, Ma.


33.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife, helped at times by extreme drunkenness, ...   BB Bill's Story, p.3  
There had been no real infidelity, for loyalty to my wife, helped at times by extreme drunkenness, kept me out of those scrapes.


34.
View THE FAMILY AFTERWARD chapter   ... wife, his children, his "in-laws", each one ...   BB The Family Afterward, p.122  
The alcoholic, his wife, his children, his "in-laws", each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the family's attitude towards himself or herself.


35.
View TRADITION FIVE essay   ... wife, his partner, and his alcoholism by ...   12&12 Tradition Five, p.152  
He interrupted to scoff at this and asserted he'd fix his wife, his partner, and his alcoholism by himself.


36.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife's hope.   BB Bill's Story, p.5  
Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation, and there were periods of sobriety which renewed my wife's hope.


37.
View A VISION FOR YOU chapter   ... wife ill, children distracted, bills in arrears ...   BB A Vision For You, p.155  
It was the usual situation: home in jeopardy, wife ill, children distracted, bills in arrears and standing damaged.


38.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife inspected it frequently.   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.176  
I found out later that my wife inspected it frequently.


39.
View STEP TWELVE essay   ... wife is forced to become the mother ...   12&12 Step Twelve, p.118  
Very gradually, and usually without any realization of the fact, the wife is forced to become the mother of an erring boy.


40.
View THE FAMILY AFTERWARD chapter   ... wife is one of those persons who ...   BB The Family Afterward, p.135  
His wife is one of those persons who really feels there is something rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger.


41.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife kept her faith and courage during ...   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.178  
How my wife kept her faith and courage during all those years, I'll never know, but she did.


42.
View STEP TWELVE essay   ... wife may become discontented, even highly resentful ...   12&12 Step Twelve, p.118  
After the husband joins A.A., the wife may become discontented, even highly resentful that Alcoholics Anonymous has done the very thing that all her years of devotion had failed to do.


43.
View WORKING WITH OTHERS chapter   ... wife may sometimes say she is neglected.   BB Working With Others, p.97  
Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected.


44.
View THE FAMILY AFTERWARD chapter   ... wife may take with the husband who ...   BB The Family Afterward, p.122  
Our women folk have suggested certain attitudes a wife may take with the husband who is recovering.


45.
View HOW IT WORKS chapter   ... wife -- misunderstands and nags; likes Brown; wants ...   BB How It Works, p.65  
My wife -- misunderstands and nags; likes Brown; wants the house put in her name -- pride; personal sex relations; security (fear).


46.
View STEP TWELVE essay   ... wife must become the head of the ...   12&12 Step Twelve, p.118  
If the man is affected, the wife must become the head of the house, often the breadwinner.


47.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife, my friends, and my children that ...   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.177  
I used to promise my wife, my friends, and my children that I would drink no more -- promises which seldom kept me sober even through the day, though I was very sincere when I made them.


48.
View TO EMPLOYERS chapter   ... wife next calls saying he is sick, ...   BB To Employers, p.146  
When his wife next calls saying he is sick, you might jump to the conclusion he is drunk.


49.
View THE FAMILY AFTERWARD chapter   ... wife nor anyone else stands in judgment.   BB The Family Afterward, p.135  
Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks coffee, but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment.


50.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... wife of an alcoholic.   BB To Wives, p.119  
It is probably true that you and your husband have been living too much alone, for drinking many times isolates the wife of an alcoholic.


51.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... wife of another serious drinker.   BB To Wives, p.112  
Meanwhile you might try to help the wife of another serious drinker.


52.
View HOW IT WORKS chapter   ... wife of my mistress -- sex relations; self ...   BB How It Works, p.65  
Mr. Brown -- told my wife of my mistress -- sex relations; self esteem (fear).


53.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife one Saturday afternoon saying she wanted ...   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.179  
About this time a lady called up my wife one Saturday afternoon saying she wanted me to come over that evening to meet a friend of hers who might help me.


54.
View THE FAMILY AFTERWARD chapter   ... wife or child neurotic.   BB The Family Afterward, p.122  
A doctor said to us, "Years of living with an alcoholic is almost sure to make any wife or child neurotic.


55.
View WORKING WITH OTHERS chapter   ... wife, or his friends.   BB Working With Others, p.95  
He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends.


56.
View STEP NINE essay   ... wife or husband.   12&12 Step Nine, p.86  
We cannot, for example, unload a detailed account of extramarital adventuring upon the shoulders of our unsuspecting wife or husband.


57.
View WORKING WITH OTHERS chapter   ... wife or no wife -- we simply do ...   BB Working With Others, p.98  
Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job -- wife or no wife -- we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.


58.
View INTO ACTION chapter   ... wife or parents whom for years he ...   BB Into Action, p.82  
But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated.


59.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife's parents.   BB Bill's Story, p.4  
We went to live with my wife's parents.


60.
View A VISION FOR YOU chapter   ... wife placed their large home at the ...   BB A Vision For You, p.160  
One man and his wife placed their large home at the disposal of this strangely assorted crowd.


61.
View WORKING WITH OTHERS chapter   ... wife settled your difficulties is worth any ...   BB Working With Others, p.100  
The story of how you and your wife settled your difficulties is worth any amount of criticism.


62.
View HOW IT WORKS chapter   ... wife -- sex relations; self esteem (fear).   BB How It Works, p.65  
Mr. Brown -- his attention to my wife -- sex relations; self esteem (fear).


63.
View WORKING WITH OTHERS chapter   ... wife should fully understand his new way ...   BB Working With Others, p.99  
The wife should fully understand his new way of life.


64.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife's slender purse when the morning terror ...   BB Bill's Story, p.6  
Sometimes I stole from my wife's slender purse when the morning terror and madness were on me.


65.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife to applaud while I started out ...   BB Bill's Story, p.3  
We went at once to the country, my wife to applaud while I started out to overtake Walter Hagen.


66.
View STEP TWELVE essay   ... wife usually goes on doing the best ...   12&12 Step Twelve, p.118  
The wife usually goes on doing the best she knows how, but meanwhile the alcoholic alternately loves and hates her maternal care.


67.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife was at work.   BB Bill's Story, p.8  
My wife was at work.


68.
View BILL'S STORY chapter   ... wife was informed that it would all ...   BB Bill's Story, p.7  
My weary and despairing wife was informed that it would all end with heart failure during delirium tremens, or I would develop a wet brain, perhaps within a year.


69.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife was planning to go out in ...   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.176  
If my wife was planning to go out in the afternoon, I would get a large supply of liquor and smuggle it home and hide it in the coal bin, the clothes chute, over door jambs, over beams in the cellar, and in cracks in the cellar tile.


70.
View WORKING WITH OTHERS chapter   ... wife -- we simply do not stop drinking ...   BB Working With Others, p.98  
Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job -- wife or no wife -- we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.


71.
View THE FAMILY AFTERWARD chapter   ... wife who adopts a sane spiritual program, ...   BB The Family Afterward, p.130  
Nothing will help the man who is off on a spiritual tangent so much as the wife who adopts a sane spiritual program, making a better practical use of it.


72.
View DOCTOR BOB'S NIGHTMARE story   ... wife, who sent my newly made friend ...   BB Doctor Bob's Nightmare, p.179  
These good people notified my wife, who sent my newly made friend over to get me.


73.
View TO WIVES chapter   ... wife who trembles in fear of the ...   BB To Wives, p.104  
But for every man who drinks others are involved -- the wife who trembles in fear of the next debauch; the mother and father who see their son wasting away.


74.
View WORKING WITH OTHERS chapter   ... wife will never come back for one ...   BB Working With Others, p.99  
In some cases the wife will never come back for one reason or another.


75.
View A VISION FOR YOU chapter   ... wife would leave elated by the thought ...   BB A Vision For You, p.161  
He and his wife would leave elated by the thought of what they could now do for some stricken acquaintance and his family.


76.
View TRADITION FIVE essay   ... wife would leave him alone, he'd soon ...   12&12 Tradition Five, p.152  
He shouts that if his partner would treat him better, and his wife would leave him alone, he'd soon solve his alcohol problem.


The 164 and More™ Book, eBook, and Web Site are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only).  Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and More concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc., or the A.A. Grapevine, Inc.  Further A.A.W.S. Inc. and the A.A. Grapevine Inc. have no objection to the use of this material in the 164 and More concordance.

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