SAY in Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous, 12 Steps and 12 Traditions

From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)

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SAY occurs 90 times (Definition from Merriam-Webster Online)

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... say? 12&12 p.140, Tradition Three

Intolerant, you say?

... say. BB p.128, The Family Afterward

Dad is not so spiritual after all, they say.

... say about the general hopelessness of the ... BB p.43, More About Alcoholism

One of these men, staff member of a world-renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: "What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic's plight is, in my opinion, correct.

... say about themselves. BB xxvi(xxiv), The Doctor's Opinion

You may rely absolutely on anything they say about themselves.

... say about us? 12&12 p.140, Tradition Three

Besides, if we took in those odd ones, what would decent people say about us?

... say, all you need is the open ... 12&12 p.26, Step Two

Again I say, all you need is the open mind."

... say almost anything if he has accepted ... BB p.145, To Employers

In fact, he may say almost anything if he has accepted our solution which, as you know, demands rigorous honesty.

... say among ourselves, "He wants to want ... BB p.109, To Wives

As we say among ourselves, "He wants to want to stop."

... say anything for several weeks, or longer. 12&12 p.84, Step Nine

We may not want to say anything for several weeks, or longer.

10.

... say approximately this, "Look here, Ed. BB p.147, To Employers

After reading this book, a junior executive can go to such a man and say approximately this, "Look here, Ed.

11.

... say: "But I will not have the ... BB p.164, A Vision For You

Still you may say: "But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who wrote this book."

12.

... say, contrary to the experience of society ... 12&12 p.141, Tradition Three

Why did we dare to say, contrary to the experience of society and government everywhere, that we would neither punish nor deprive any A.A. of membership, that we must never compel anyone to pay anything, believe anything, or conform to anything?

13.

... say, for jay-walking. BB p.37, More About Alcoholism

Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking.

14.

... say: "God grant me the serenity to ... 12&12 p.41, Step Three

In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done."

15.

... say "Good luck and God bless you!" BB p.121, To Wives

So to you out there who may soon be with us -- we say "Good luck and God bless you!"

16.

... say he cannot recover unless he has ... BB p.99, Working With Others

Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back.

17.

... say he is above worldly considerations. BB p.128, The Family Afterward

He may demand that the family find God in a hurry, or exhibit amazing indifference to them and say he is above worldly considerations.

18.

... say, he will probably be off to ... BB p.145, To Employers

If he feels free to discuss his problems with you, if he knows you understand and will not be upset by anything he wishes to say, he will probably be off to a fast start.

19.

... say, "How very easy! 12&12 p.69, Step Six

He could say, "How very easy!

20.

... say, "I bet they do it -- maybe ... BB p.52, We Agnostics

Show any longshoreman a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to explore the moon by means of a rocket and he will say, "I bet they do it -- maybe not so long either."

21.

... say, "I wish I had what that ... BB p.47, We Agnostics

When people presented us with spiritual approaches, how frequently did we all say, "I wish I had what that man has.

22.

... say, is usually that he has no ... BB p.23, There Is A Solution

And the truth, strange to say, is usually that he has no more idea why he took that first drink than you have.

23.

... say it was your devotion and care ... BB p.119, To Wives

Your husband will be the first to say it was your devotion and care which brought him to the point where he could have a spiritual experience.

24.

... say, many who are real alcoholics are ... BB p.31, More About Alcoholism

Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class.

25.

... say, "My sponsor sold me one idea, ... 12&12 p.154, Tradition Five

Years later, this tough Irish customer liked to say, "My sponsor sold me one idea, and that was sobriety.

26.

... say, "No, I can't give this up ... 12&12 p.66, Step Six

Even then the best of us will discover to our dismay that there is always a sticking point, a point at which we say, "No, I can't give this up yet."

27.

... say, "No, never!" our minds close against ... 12&12 p.69, Step Six

The moment we say, "No, never!" our minds close against the grace of God.

28.

... say nothing. 12&12 p.55, Step Five

But of the things which really bother and burn us, we say nothing.

29.

... say nothing. 12&12 p.86, Step Nine

Suppose that this may continue to go undetected, if we say nothing.

30.

... say nothing, for the moment, of how ... BB p.91, Working With Others

But say nothing, for the moment, of how that was accomplished.

31.

... say nothing of that intense mental and ... BB p.36, More About Alcoholism

Here was the threat of commitment, the loss of family and position, to say nothing of that intense mental and physical suffering which drinking always caused him.

32.

... say, "Oh, the Foundation is wealthy -- why ... 12&12 p.164, Tradition Seven

Relieved of responsibility, every alcoholic would shrug and say, "Oh, the Foundation is wealthy -- why should I bother?"

33.

... say our former thinking was soft and ... BB p.53, We Agnostics

Hence we are at pains to tell why we think our present faith is reasonable, why we think it more sane and logical to believe than not to believe, why we say our former thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up our hands in doubt and said, "We don't know."

34.

... say, "Perhaps you're not an alcoholic after ... 12&12 p.23, Step One

To the doubters we could say, "Perhaps you're not an alcoholic after all.

35.

... say she is neglected. BB p.97, Working With Others

Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected.

36.

... say so. 12&12 p.139, Tradition Three

For A.A. is really saying to every serious drinker, "You are an A.A. member if you say so.

37.

... say, so that they can hide lust ... 12&12 p.67, Step Six

But how many men and women speak love with their lips, and believe what they say, so that they can hide lust in a dark corner of their minds?

38.

... say something like this: "My Creator, I ... BB p.76, Into Action

When ready, we say something like this: "My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.

39.

... say than the trouble this strange alcoholic ... 12&12 p.142, Tradition Three

We are much more afraid of what people might say than the trouble this strange alcoholic might bring.

40.

... say that all alcoholics are honest and ... BB p.141, To Employers

This is not to say that all alcoholics are honest and upright when not drinking.

41.

... say that any alcoholic capable of honestly ... BB p.568(570), Appendix II, Spiritual Experience

Most emphatically we wish to say that any alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts.

42.

... say that half of A.A.'s membership has ... 12&12 p.180, Tradition Eleven

It is no exaggeration to say that half of A.A.'s membership has been led to us through channels like these.

43.

... say that he does believe, or is ... BB p.47, We Agnostics

As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way.

44.

... say that his explanation makes good sense. BB xxvi(xxiv), The Doctor's Opinion

But as ex-problem drinkers, we can say that his explanation makes good sense.

45.

... say that I was not interested. BB p.136, To Employers

I told her to say that I was not interested.

46.

... say that is was not Mr. B___ ... BB p.136, To Employers

My secretary returned to say that is was not Mr. B___ on the phone; it was Mr. B___'s brother, and he wished to give me a message.

47.

... say that it had done miracles. 12&12 p.97, Step Eleven

We liked A.A. all right, and were quick to say that it had done miracles.

48.

... say that liquor should be enjoyed, not ... 12&12 p.157, Tradition Six

They wanted to say that liquor should be enjoyed, not misused; hard drinkers ought to slow down, and problem drinkers -- alcoholics -- should not drink at all.

49.

... say: "That's me. That's me. I drink ... BB p.157, A Vision For You

Over and over, he would say: "That's me. That's me. I drink like that."

50.

... say that most of the alcoholics under ... 12&12 p.123, Step Twelve

These distinguished men had the nerve to say that most of the alcoholics under investigation were still childish, emotionally sensitive, and grandiose.

51.

... say that she may understand, but what ... BB p.81, Into Action

In fairness we must say that she may understand, but what are we going to do about a thing like that?

52.

... say that the consciousness of the Presence ... BB p.51, We Agnostics

When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith.

53.

... say that the only thing he needs ... BB p.82, Into Action

Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober.

54.

... say that was different from what others ... BB p.180, Doctor Bob's Nightmare

The question which might naturally come into your mind would be: "what did the man do or say that was different from what others had done or said?"

55.

... say that we have "harmed" other people. 12&12 p.80, Step Eight

We might next ask ourselves what we mean when we say that we have "harmed" other people.

56.

... say that what you now propose bothers ... 12&12 p.137, Tradition Two

But I think I speak for everyone here when I say that what you now propose bothers us an awful lot more.'

57.

Say that you believe he is a ... BB p.142, To Employers

Say that you believe he is a gravely ill person, with this qualification -- being perhaps fatally ill, does he want to get well?

58.

... say the A.A. program requires no willpower; ... 12&12 p.61, Step Five

No one ought to say the A.A. program requires no willpower; here is one place you may require all you've got.

59.

... say, the group's chairman. 12&12 p.111, Step Twelve

They make us, let us say, the group's chairman.

60.

... say the spiritual approach. BB p.180, Doctor Bob's Nightmare

But this was a man who had experienced many years of frightful drinking, who had had most all the drunkard's experiences known to man, but who had been cured by the very means I had been trying to employ, that is to say the spiritual approach.

61.

... say the whole thing was nothing but ... BB p.54, We Agnostics

Could we still say the whole thing was nothing but a mass of electrons, created out of nothing, meaning nothing, whirling on to a destiny of nothingness?

62.

... say there is no God?" BB p.56, We Agnostics

"Who are you to say there is no God?"

63.

... say this after many years' experience as ... BB xxvii(xxv), The Doctor's Opinion

I say this after many years' experience as Medical Director of one of the oldest hospitals in the country treating alcoholic and drug addiction.

64.

... say this because we are very anxious ... BB p.74, Into Action

We say this because we are very anxious that we talk to the right person.

65.

... say, "This I cannot give up yet...," ... 12&12 p.69, Step Six

Perhaps we shall be obliged in some cases still to say, "This I cannot give up yet...," but we should not say to ourselves, "This I will never give up!"

66.

... say, "This is getting serious. BB p.118, To Wives

Next time you and he have a heated discussion, no matter what the subject, it should be the privilege of either to smile and say, "This is getting serious.

67.

... say, three drinks -- no more! BB p.154, A Vision For You

Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks -- no more!

68.

... say, to drink. BB xxxi(xxix), The Doctor's Opinion

He had lost everything worthwhile in life and was only living, one might say, to drink.

69.

... say to her that we have no ... BB p.81, Into Action

We feel we ought to say to her that we have no right to involve another person.

70.

... say to himself in the most casual ... BB p.24, There Is A Solution

The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual way, "It won't burn me this time, so here's how!"

71.

... say to himself, "Maybe those A.A.'s were ... 12&12 p.23, Step One

Following every spree, he would say to himself, "Maybe those A.A.'s were right. ..."

72.

... say -- to Middletown, U.S.A. 12&12 p.132, Tradition Two

John Doe, a good A.A., moves -- let us say -- to Middletown, U.S.A.

73.

... say to one another, "Perhaps it would ... 12&12 p.133, Tradition Two

They say to one another, "Perhaps it would be a good idea if we continue to keep a firm hand on A.A. in this town.

74.

... say to ourselves that we would right ... BB p.83, Into Action

We don't worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could.

75.

... say to ourselves, "This I will never ... 12&12 p.69, Step Six

Perhaps we shall be obliged in some cases still to say, "This I cannot give up yet...," but we should not say to ourselves, "This I will never give up!"

76.

... say to ourselves, "This one ought to ... 12&12 p.104, Step Eleven

We say to ourselves, "This one ought to be cured of his fatal malady," or "That one ought to be relieved of his emotional pain," and we pray for these specific things.

77.

... say to the drifter, "Yes, we were ... 12&12 p.28, Step Two

Any number of A.A.'s can say to the drifter, "Yes, we were diverted from our childhood faith, too.

78.

... say upon what occasion or upon what ... 12&12 p.27, Step Two

I can't say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief now.

79.

... say we had no capacity for faith, ... BB p.54, We Agnostics

It was impossible to say we had no capacity for faith, or love, or worship.

80.

... say "We ought..." but never "You must!" 12&12 p.129, Tradition One

They repeatedly say "We ought..." but never "You must!"

81.

... say, "What a great thing A.A. might ... 12&12 p.129, Tradition One

Back again in their caves, alcoholics would reproach us and say, "What a great thing A.A. might have been!"

82.

... say, "What do they mean, no organization?" 12&12 p.172, Tradition Nine

Scanning this puzzler, people say, "What do they mean, no organization?"

83.

... say will apply to nearly everyone bound ... BB p.104, To Wives

What they say will apply to nearly everyone bound by ties of blood or affection to an alcoholic.

84.

... say with assurance that Alcoholics Anonymous -- A.A. ... 12&12 p.172, Tradition Nine

Today, we are able to say with assurance that Alcoholics Anonymous -- A.A. as a whole -- should never be organized at all.

85.

... say, "Yes, I am one of them ... BB p.29, There Is A Solution

Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, "Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing."

86.

... say, "Yes, I'm willing. BB p.152, A Vision For You

You say, "Yes, I'm willing.

87.

... say, "Yes, we were like you -- far ... 12&12 p.29, Step Two

To these, many A.A.'s can say, "Yes, we were like you -- far too smart for our own good.

88.

... say you appreciate his abilities, would like ... BB p.141, To Employers

You might say you appreciate his abilities, would like to keep him, but cannot if he continues to drink.

89.

Say you do not want to be ... BB p.112, To Wives

Say you do not want to be a wet blanket; that you only want him to take care of his health.

90.

... say you rushed him. BB p.95, Working With Others

If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him.

Passages from the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous and the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions are reprinted with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc. The A.A. Preamble, copyright © The A.A. Grapevine, Inc., is reprinted with permission. Permission to reprint does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either Alcoholics Anonymous or The A.A. Grapevine, Inc.

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