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From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)
Click the page number or the book cover icon
to view that page in the literature.1.
2.
3.
4.
When your prospect has made
such reparation as he can
to his family, and has thoroughly explained to
them the new principles by
which he is living, he should proceed to put those principles into action at home.
5.
6.
7.
You draw more and more into yourself and you think everyone is talking about conditions
at your home.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
When we take such personality traits as
these into shop, office, and
the society of our fellows, they can do damage almost as extensive as that
we have caused at home.
13.
Are we going to be so rigidly righteous about making amends that we don't care what happens to the family and home?
14.
We all had to place recovery above everything, for without recovery we would have lost both home and business.
15.
If my wife was planning to
go out in the afternoon, I would get a large supply of liquor and smuggle it home and hide it in the coal bin, the clothes chute, over door jambs, over beams in the cellar, and in cracks in the cellar tile.
16.
Instead of developing
new channels of activity for themselves,
mother and children demand that he stay home and make up
the deficiency.
17.
18.
19.
He came and got me home and to bed, gave me a few drinks that night, and one bottle of beer the next morning.
20.
21.
22.
It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals,
jails and asylums.
23.
24.
25.
Seeing much of each other, scarce an evening passed that someone's home did not shelter a little gathering of men and women, happy in their release, and constantly thinking how
they might present their discovery to some newcomer.
26.
27.
Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk.
28.
How could we ever take care of those awful debts, possess a decent home, educate the kids, and set something by for old age?
29.
30.
I thought of Lois coming home exhausted from the department store each day, only to cook supper for a houseful of drunks who weren't paying board.
31.
32.
33.
34.
35.
It was really a horrible
nightmare, this earning
money, getting liquor, smuggling it home, getting drunk, morning jitters, taking large doses of sedatives to make it possible for me to earn more money, and so on ad nauseam.
36.
37.
38.
Arriving home, I found Lois cooking as usual, while three drunks looked hungrily on from the kitchen
door.
39.
40.
41.
It was the usual situation: home in jeopardy, wife ill, children distracted, bills in arrears and standing damaged.
42.
43.
Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experience, has
stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom.
44.
45.
His income is good, he has a
fine home, is happily married and the father of promising children of college age.
46.
(*) Written in 1939, when
there were few women in A.A., this chapter assumes that the alcoholic
in the home is likely to be
the husband. But many of the
suggestions given here may be adapted to help the person who lives with a woman alcoholic -- whether she is
still drinking or is recovering in A.A. A further source of help is noted on page 121.
47.
He now returned home, leaving behind his first acquaintance, the lawyer
and the devil-may-care chap.
48.
49.
Her husband may become so
wrapped up in A.A. and his new friends that he is inconsiderately away
from home more than when he drank.
50.
Here are some of the methods
we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with
and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums --
we could increase the list
ad infinitum.
51.
52.
53.
54.
Service, gladly rendered, obligations squarely met, troubles well accepted or solved with God's help, the knowledge that at home or in
the world outside we are partners in a common effort, the well-understood fact that in God's sight all human beings are important, the proof that love freely given surely brings a full return, the certainty that
we are no longer isolated and alone in self-constructed prisons, the surety that we need no longer be square pegs in round holes but can fit and belong in God's scheme of things -- these are
the permanent and legitimate satisfactions of right living for which no amount of pomp and circumstance, no heap of material possessions, could possibly be substitutes.
55.
The bill collectors, the
sheriffs, the angry taxi drivers, the policemen, the bums, the pals, and even the ladies they sometimes brought home -- our husbands thought we were so
inhospitable.
56.
It was the day before Mother's Day and I had come home plastered, carrying a big potted plant which I set down on the table and forthwith went upstairs and passed out.
57.
58.
59.
This would lessen my chances of smuggling some
home that evening, which in
turn would mean a night of futile tossing around in bed followed by a morning of unbearable jitters.
60.
61.
62.
63.
Finally my father had to send a doctor out from my home town who managed to get me back there in some way, and I was in bed about two months before I could venture out of the house.
64.
This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has
been revealed to us out of bitter experience.
65.
Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what
we have done.
66.
The 164 and More™ Book, eBook, and Web Site
are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book
Alcoholics Anonymous, the
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,
and the A.A. Grapevine (A.A. Preamble only).
Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the
164 and More concordance does not in any way imply
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Inc., or the A.A. Grapevine, Inc. Further A.A.W.S. Inc. and the A.A.
Grapevine Inc. have no objection to the use of this material in the
164 and More concordance.
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